The falling…

(Image courtesy: New Indian Express)

As the world awakens to Aamir rising, L Suresh delves deep into an abyss to recall the times when he was falling…

He doesn’t attend award functions. He doesn’t give interviews to film magazines. He doesn’t act in more than a movie a year. He doesn’t get along with Ram Gopal Varma – the man who everyone, from the Big B to a wannabe, is on first name terms with. But if there’s one thing he does, it is to challenge the age-old Newtonian theory that what goes up must come down. Because, in Aamir’s career, the sinking act came before his rising.
Here are a few Titanics, fished right out of the ocean bed…

Aatank Hi Aatank (1995)
Does everyone who plays Michael Corleone have to have a first name that begins with A (Al Pacino, Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan)? Anyways, Aamir found himself sandwiched between Al Pacino in the original and Abhishek Bachchan as the younger son in Sarkar. According to the Godfather, "Mr. Corleone is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately." As far as Aatank Hi Aatank goes, Aamir will be hearing it all his life.

Mela (2000)
Here we go again! Yet another rip-off from a blockbuster original (Sholay). Yet another film that Aamir attempted and failed – and yet another film that Ram Gopal Varma is going to remake! Let’s just say that with Kishan Pyaare and Shankar Shaane not being a patch on Jai and Veeru, and with Gujjar Singh fading in comparison to Gabbar Singh, Mela and Sholay fused to result in a melee – with the audience in a desperate hurry to get out of the theatre.

Baazi (1995)
While its namesake made in 1951 made Dev Anand synonymous with the crime genre for over a decade, the Aamir starrer made paying to watch the movie a crime. However, you could call it crossover cinema for two reasons. One, it was Aamir’s maiden transition from chocolate boy to tough cop. Two, it was his first attempt to switch from hero to drag queen. While his role as a cop flopped, his cute ‘Dil dole’ dance almost put the director, Ashutosh Gowariker on dole.

Awwal Number (1990)
For cricket fans, an easier way to relive pain would be to watch the pasting we received at the hands of Australia in the 2003 World Cup finals. The movie had ‘Ranvir Singh’ (a clairvoyant take on Ranbir Singh Mahendra?) who is at loggerheads with ‘Sunny’ (Aamir). Well, the movie’s duration was less than that of a Twenty20 match while it stayed at the theatres for around the same time as a Test match.

Isi Ka Naam Zindagi (1992)
While Lagaan was a ‘cricket meets British Raj’ movie, Aamir practiced his cricket in Awwal Number, and met his colonial past in Isi Ka Naam Zindagi, possibly his first period film. Of course, it turned out to be a bad period not just for India, but for Aamir as well. Going by the success of Bunty aur Babli, the movie might have stood a chance if it had been named Chotu aur Chinky, after the names of the lead pair.

Daulat Ki Jung (1992)
This one could have been named McKenna in Mumbai – except that McKenna (remember McKenna’s Gold?) is a singing, dancing, romancing college student who gets a map to a treasure when he is busy running away with his ladylove. The thugs are after them, the cops are after the thugs and Aamir swallows the map. The rest of the movie is all about the battle for wealth and you can bet your life’s savings that the producer and distributors weren’t on the winning side.

Jawani Zindabad (1990)
This one was about dowry, a sister’s marriage, evil in-laws, a martyr brother – and the ultimate fight to avenge a terrible storyline. This movie ran to packed audiences in the conference rooms of Balaji Telefilms and every other production house in the country – they had just got their inspiration for a decade-long ‘mega serial’. Of course, confused between a social theme and a soft-porn flick title (the Jawani ki Kahani genre), the audience followed the old adage – when it doubt, throw it out.

Tum Mere Ho (1990)
This movie has Aamir ‘blessed with the magical power of charming snakes’ (that explains his successful stint in Bollywood). Since the flick is all about snakes and is set in a village milieu, it is only natural that the hero’s name is Shiva and the village belle’s, Paro. But sorcery and bad morphing effects rear their ugly head as the snakes in this movie change their shape and form at will. Small wonder that even the rats in the theatre ran from this one.

Note: A few other pieces from the wreckage of Mann, Afsana Pyaar Ka, Akele Hum Akele Tum, Deewana Mujhsa Nahin and Parampara were also found. But we wisely decided to hold back – just in case there is a sequel to The Rising round the corner.

(Appeared in the New Indian Express Sunday Supplement on 14 August, 2005)