Cut to the chase

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L Suresh looks back on a day when the world of cricket was turned topsy-turvy.

In 2348 one-day internationals, no side had managed to reach the 400 mark. On Sunday, two teams did.

It was a busy Sunday for the cricketing world. In Mohali, Kumble, fresh from making history by becoming the first Indian bowler to reach the 500 club, was spinning the Indians towards victory. In New Zealand, Shane Bond was exercising his license to kill with the red cherry, with five Caribbean scalps under his belt. In Bangladesh, Sri Lanka were sitting back and savouring a win that, despite rain, had come a day in advance, on Saturday. In another part of the world, Australia and South Africa were stepping into the Wanderers for the last of the one-day encounters. Little did they know that they were walking right into the history books.

“A 270-280 game” predicted an expert as Australia won the toss and decided to bat. The commentators, seated in their ivory towers, were condescending enough to raise the ante up to 300. But Smith and Ponting seemed to have their own plans – they were going shopping for runs and there was a Sunday sale on at the New Wanderers Stadium. At the end of 99.4 overs, 872 runs were scored of which 504 runs came off boundaries, with 87 fours and 26 sixes. Misfields, mishits and thick edges were overshadowed by bloodthirsty pounding as the ball discovered parts of the Wanderers it never knew existed.

If it's a Sunday in March at the Wanderers, it must be Ponting on the rampage. For it was another glorious Sunday on March 23, 2003, when Sourav Ganguly mistook some passing clouds for favourable seaming conditions and put Australia into bat, that Ponting gave the Indians a lesson on why the stadium was called Wanderers - it was an accurate description of the fielders who, like condemned souls seeking salvation, prowled the grounds, hoping that the ball would stop with them and not go through them to the ropes. But this Sunday was different. It was the day Australia had earmarked to commune and collectively shut out Graeme Smith's high-pitched moans and groans.

Anyone who would have suggested to Ponting, as he boarded the flight to South Africa, that he would be receiving a standing ovation at the Wanderers one day, would have been considered ‘off his trolley’, as the Aussies say. But as he walked back to his dressing room after a stunning 164 that messed up a Sunday morning for a nation, taunts and racial slurs were put aside for a historical moment as the crowd got to its feet to hail a man who, like Captain Kirk, took his team to where no man had ever gone before - the 400 mark in a one-day international. The crowd's acknowledgement was even more significant considering the fact that a few months back, things had been nightmarish for South Africa in Australia.

After some amazing individual performances by the two Jacques - Rudolph and Kallis and Ashwell Prince, and practically by every member of the Australian team, the South Africans found their sense of pride and a fairly impressive record take a battering even as a hurting bunch of cricketers found out why a series in Australia is referred to as a tour 'down under'. Not only had they been whipped 2-0 in the tests and humiliated in the tri-series, they were also at the receiving end of many a racial barb. South Africa lost the series and with it, their respect for some of the Australian players. The Aussie assault had ended, but the verbal attacks continued.

To add to the decibel levels, both camps suffered from bouts of verbal diarrhea. While Smith thought that the Ashes loss had led to Australia losing their ‘aura of invincibility’, Warne thought that he lacked imagination as a captain. Round Two: Smith ridiculed Warne saying that he was itching to become captain, while Warne opined that Smith had made a fool of himself. Smith preempted the next round hoping that the Aussies wouldn't moan about crowd behaviour in South Africa. Warne meanwhile suggested that the Proteas consult a psychologist to get over their Aussie nightmares. Even as the media had a field time playing back each sound bite, it was time for the two teams to take the field for the one dayers.

If Australia looked weak without Ponting, Symonds and McGrath in the first one-dayer, they were dismissed like a pedestrian club team in the second, when Ntini ran through them with a career-best 6 for 23. South Africa 289 for 7, Australia 93 all out and South Africa led the series 2-0. However Ponting's return pumped in the much-needed steroids for Australia as the scores evened out at 2-2 after 4 matches. And then began the trip to the Wanderers for that eventful Sunday.

The beginning was sedate enough. Both teams had lost their best bowlers - Glenn McGrath and Shaun Pollock and had got back their key allrounders - Andrew Symonds and Jacques Kallis. There was hardly anything to choose between the teams - so much so that at the start of play, one of the commentators had gone on to forecast a 2.5:2.5 split in the five match series. (He had no idea how close he came to predicting the fate of the match, as South Africa hung in there perilously at 434 for 9, with one run to score and one wicket in hand.) Man to man, they stood there, trading blows and copping a few on their bloodied chins. Ponting's brilliant century was equalled by Gibbs' sensational 175. Hussey's belligerent 81 was emulated by Smith's 55-ball 90. Halls' unbelievable catch - one that made Gilchrist smile as he walked back to the pavilion - could only be equalled by Symonds' caught and bowled effort to remove Kallis. (Of course, Kallis was in no mood to smile. Scoring 20 runs, by no stretch of imagination, made amends for having given away 70 runs in his six overs.) As for the bowlers, Mick Lewis got the mickey taken out of him as he made Kallis look economical and entered the record books for giving away 113 runs in his ten overs. But one catch could have made a big difference - just as it did, seven years ago.

The year was 1999. The venue, Headlingley, Leeds. Australia was faced with a do-or-die situation and had to beat South Africa to reach the semi-finals of the World Cup. Herschelle Gibbs repeatedly launched the ball into space until he reached a hundred. It was the Aussies' turn now and Steve Waugh (looking so cool, one would have thought he had just walked out of a refrigerator) did the unthinkable. At 55, he hit Klusener straight into the hands of Gibbs at midwicket. For a terrifying moment, his heart was in his mouth - but the ball wasn't in Gibbs' hands. While the ball didn't stick, a media-generated quote did, according to which Steve Waugh was rumoured to have said that Gibbs had just dropped the World Cup. It was a nightmare that he would live with - until last Sunday. The ghost wasn't exorcised, but like in Indian folk tales, it simply found a different shoulder to cling on to - that of Nathan Bracken. Standing at mid-on, Bracken undid all the good work that came off his 5 for 67 with one dropped sitter. Gibbs smashed 45 more runs - and Australia's chances of winning the match.

Kumble’s 10 for 74. Jayasuriya’s 17-ball 50. Jonty Rhodes record of 5 catches in an innings. There’s something about a Sunday that makes cricketers hyperactive. This Sunday was another of them. Consider this - while it took over three decades for a team to set an unbelievable record of 434 runs in 50 overs, it took another team a little over three hours to break it.

The perfect 10

It always takes something special to beat Australia. Here are 10 such special occasions.

1. India vs Australia – World Championship of Cricket, 1985
Eleven Australians spent the day looking over their shoulders to see if Lillee, Greg Chappell and Rod Marsh would join them and put them out of their misery. While Kapil Dev and Binny left them tottering at 37 for 5, Krish Srikkanth smashed 93 off 115 balls to win the game with 14 overs to spare.

2. Sri Lanka vs Australia – World Cup Finals, 1996
Perhaps Australia thought 241 was a decent score to defend, with McGrath and Warne leading the attack. With Sri Lanka tottering at 23 for 2, they were almost sure of it – until Aravinda de Silva came on to the crease and proved that his love of fast cars wasn’t the only reason why he was called ‘Mad Max’. 107 off 124 balls and a tiny island nation celebrated like never before.

3. New Zealand vs Australia - Chappell-Hadlee Trophy, 2005-06
331 in 50 overs with four batsmen scoring fifties – the Aussies knew they had the game wrapped up. After all, no one had chased such a massive total and won. Well, there is always a first time, as they were to find out. A century by Styris and a 25-ball 50 by McCullum made sure that the Kiwis created history with an over to spare.

4. India vs Australia – ICC Knock Out, 2000-01
After their 1999 World Cup victory, taking home the ICC Trophy was considered as routine an act as winning the Ashes. Of course, the Aussies had missed on one little detail – a 19-year old Yuvraj who blazed away to 84 off 80 balls and handed them their biggest insult ever – an early exit from a tournament.

5. Sri Lanka vs Australia - ICC Champions Trophy, 2002-03
The ICC Trophy. And Sri Lanka’s slow, spinning tracks. Two things that Australia hated most came together – and unfortunately, two negatives did not make a positive as they folded up for 162. A 7-wicket victory saw Sri Lanka reach the finals as things spun out of control for the Aussies. Needless to say, five Sri Lankan spinners had a huge role to play in it.

6. England vs Australia - ICC Champions Trophy, 2004
If Australia thought they would be third time lucky after losses to India and Sri Lanka in earlier ICC tournaments, they were wrong. They were up against a new, improved England with a battery of fast bowlers and attacking batsmen. Trescothick and Vaughan effortlessly chased an Aussie total of 259 and Strauss applied the finishing touches with a quickfire 52 off 42 balls.

7. India vs Australia - Coca-Cola Cup, 1997/98
Those were the times when cricket was an individual’s game, and Sachin was the Indian team. The Aussies found that difficult to believe, but after blasting two centuries in two consecutive days, Sachin left them with no option but to ‘think about it’. Australia made 272, but Sachin’s 134 from 131 balls raised a sandstorm and before the Aussies could get the sand out of their eyes, Sachin walked away with the Cup.

8. New Zealand vs Australia – VB Series, 2001-02
One strange series when South Africa and New Zealand took turns whipping Australia in their backyard. And just as Australia were gasping for breath and fighting to stay alive in the tournament, Astle’s 95 and Bond’s 5 for 25 ensured that they didn’t. Kiwiland lustily sang ‘My heart will go on’ while Australia did the sinking act.

9. England vs Australia – NatWest Challenge, 2005
It was the worst way to begin a tour. In a week, Australia, had lost four consecutive matches – two to England, one to Bangladesh and one to Somerset. Obviously it was the sign of things to come, but the Aussie bravado persisted. A nine-wicket loss to England followed in the NatWest Challenge, with Trescothick’s 104 sealing the fate of the visitors who managed just 219.

10. India vs Australia – VB Series, 2003-04
Laxman had always been a thorn in the Aussie hide in tests. Unfortunately for them, he decided to repeat the act in one-dayers as well, with a blistering 103 as India ran up 303 for the loss of just 4 wickets. For the umpteenth time, a side had shown how vulnerable Australia was without McGrath and Warne.

(Appeared in the New Indian Express Sunday Supplement on 19 March, 2006)

The English Patients

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How many Englishmen does it take to form a test team? L Suresh is still counting…

In the 70s, the chant that drove terror into the hearts of the Poms was “Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust. If Lillee don’t get you, Thommo must”. 30 years later, they are getting to hear the Indipop remix: “Offspin to legspin, heat to dust. If sunstroke don’t get you, dehydration must.” Even before a ball was bowled, Michael Vaughan, Marcus Trescothick, Kevin Pietersen, Paul Collingwood, Simon Jones, Shaun Udal and Liam Plunkett have all lined up at the sick bay. If this continues, the only way the English batsmen are likely to find themselves amongst the runs is with an overdose of prawn curry (as ex-captain Graham Gooch demonstrated in the 92-93 series, with 47 runs to his tally and many more to the men’s room.)

What this English team needs is the ultimate survival guide to handle Indian conditions. Here it is – the most common problems they are likely to face in India and how to overcome them.

One flu over the cuckoo’s nest

Well, chicken tikka masala may be your national dish, but right now, there’s enough going on to make the world go nuts over the birds. So too much indulgence could well make you a trailer to another Jack Nicholson flick – The Departed. Take care not to ruffle any feathers and while at it, make sure you read India’s leading management book, ‘Count your chickens before they catch … a flu’.

As the crow fries

Remember the queen who famously proclaimed, “If they don’t have chicken, let them eat crow” to those who were ravenously hungry? To this day, roadside stalls in India dish out birds of a different feather to those who can’t afford real chicken (and this humbling experience led to the phrase ‘eat crow’). So don’t get crabby or chicken out when it’s time to eat crow.

Fishing in troubled waters

There’s something about water that doesn’t go well with cricketers (perhaps to do with the fact that they don’t take to ducks the way ducks take to water). Ask the man who dislocated his shoulder after slipping in the bathroom while reaching for the shampoo and incurred another dislocated shoulder during a water polo game - Jayasuriya. Moral of the story - just stay away from water. With the Avian flu sounding suspiciously like a brand of mineral water, it’s wise not to take chances.

Deadlier than the mail

The first thing that Greg Chappell found out about India is that most pens and all e-mails leak. Your former mate Derek Pringle hurt his back while sitting down to write a letter. As for Vivek Razdan (one of our ex-cricketers), his hand got stuck inside a postbox and he broke a finger when trying to post a letter. So stay away from postboxes – they could find your digits ‘finger-lickin’ good’.

Hairy head thinks fuzzy logic

One can understand why they shave off pitches and allow the sun to bake them dry until they split wide open. But why would you guys want to do that to your heads? Remember Chris Lewis, the former Leicestershire all-rounder, who shaved his head during a West Indies tour and went down with sunstroke? And if you have to win by a hair’s breadth, who will you go to – Dhoni? So stop tearing your hair out, put on your thinking caps and if you are going to let the blade do the talking, let it be from your bat.

Get well soon!

(Appeared in the New Indian Express Sunday Supplement on 05 March, 2006)

Going ballistic

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What happens when three generations come together, with all guns blazing? 4-1, avers L Suresh.

One does not know if Nostradamus ever used his clairvoyant powers to prophecise on the India-Pakistan tour that climaxed last Sunday, but if he had, he would have got it all wrong. To start with, India was reputed to have the better test side and Pakistan’s one-day side was considered capable of challenging Australia. But, in the end, India was humbled in the test series while Pakistan was made to feel like a club side that would have trouble challenging Kenya, leave alone Australia.

A handful of men from either sides of the border must have celebrated all night long as 2006 came into view, licking their lips and having an eye on the record books - an Indo-Pak series was in the offing. Sehwag’s dreams of yet another triple century must have seen him pack his bags and leave for the airport earlier than usual. For Dravid, a win in the series would end the debate on captaincy, after a thunderous performance at home against Sri Lanka and South Africa, winning 8 out of 11 one dayers and two out of three tests. Ganguly would be eyeing that elusive knock that would put him back into the team for good – it was high time that he had something other than political pressures to assure him of a berth in the playing eleven. On the other side of the Wagah, a long list of batsmen had already padded up – Shahid Afridi, Inzamam-ul-Haq, Younis Khan, Mohammed Yousuf and Shoaib Malik – it was time to order for more bats, the Indians were coming. A refocused, rejuvenated and relaunched version of Shoaib Akthar was waiting, fresh from his scrap’ n ‘scalp success against the English. He couldn’t believe his luck – cold winters, 100 mph missiles, grassy tracks… How many would he pick in three tests? 40 wickets? 45?

He managed four. And that was how the story began to go awry for Pakistan. The pitch report for the first and second tests could have been sponsored by Gillette – the pitch, on both occasions, had received its smoothest shave a Mach 3 razor would envy. An inexplicable omission of grass from the tracks, a pitch so flat that a few grains of sand would form a Manhattan skyline and coach Bob Woolmer’s comments about the team management not having a say in wicket preparation – there were many twists to the tale that must have dumbfounded even the Pakistani team and if not for the Asian obsession with mammoth totals, there would have been a stampede at Lahore and Faisalabad, with more people trying to get out of the stadium than get in. And just when the world thought this would be a retro series, played in memory of those countless Indo-Pak matches in the early 80s when neither team won, came the third test.

If Irfan Pathan’s hattrick and a never-seen-before, never-to-be-seen-again century by Kamran Akmal set up the test for a fight, Mohammed Asif showed his class and phrases like ‘home advantage’ and ‘weak Indian pace attack’ were finally brought out of cold storage. The ignominy of being six down for a paltry 39 runs in the first innings spurred the entire Pakistani batting line up during the second innings, as batsmen jostled with each other in trying to get to the crease first. Six fifties, a maiden hundred from Faisal Iqbal, Javed Miandad’s nephew, (thereby proving that the love for Indian bowling ran in the family) and two whole days of cricket waiting to be played ensured that there was only one way for the match to end. After giving away 2601 runs and chasing leather for a good part of two weeks, the Indians were in no mood for a run chase. And even as Greg Chappell revisited Shoaib Akthar’s controversial chucking action, the Indian batsmen, with the exception of Yuvraj, collectively threw in the towel. The controversy died a quiet death, but Yuvraj had just begun.

A ‘how do we stop them’ Indian team against a ‘who’s for breakfast’ Pakistani team. Only an eternal optimist would have given the visitors some chance of winning a couple of matches. But a team that was always notorious for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory decided to do it the other way around. After being comprehensively beaten by bad light, Duckworth-Lewis and the Pakistani team, the Indians took a break – and changed the script. A new formula was worked out, one that would bring three generations together – the experience of veterans like Dravid and Sachin, the exuberance of youth with Yuvraj, Dhoni and Pathan leading the way and the high energy of the newcomers like Sreesanth, R P Singh and Suresh Raina. And the men in blue reversed roles, changed strategies and did things in a way they had never been done before.

For starters, India played a four-pronged pace attack for most part of the series. Experience had been discarded in favour of youth, with the average age of the frontline bowlers – R P Singh, Irfan Pathan and Sreesanth - just around 21. The batting strengths of Pathan and Dhoni had long since given the team the option of playing extra bowlers. And new comers like Suresh Raina and Sreesanth ushered in a wave of energy that galvanized Team India into action. Salman Butt, after scoring 101 in the first one dayer, made just 13 in the next three outings. The famed batting line up of Inzamam, Mohammed Yousuf, Kamran Akmal and Afridi couldn’t average more than 22 in the series. The bowling statistics are more shocking, with none of their bowlers managing to pick up over 5 wickets in five matches. Compare this to the ‘weak one-dimensional pace attack’ of India that picked up 29 wickets, knocking off the top four Pakistani batsmen with unfailing regularity, before the Power Plays could end.

The Indian batting, meanwhile, was getting better with each match and reminded one of Pakistan’s ‘92 World Cup win, with a young Inzamam bludgeoning his way to victory and Miandad playing sheet anchor. While the Pakistanis ignored their past feats, the Indians emulated them, with Dhoni and Yuvraj powering their way through and with Sachin and Rahul being the calming influence, steering the ship home. With every passing game, India’s margin of victory was getting better. With the fifth one dayer, they added insult to an already maimed Pakistan. Two of India’s best players – Sachin and Pathan – were left out, to test the bench strength. The resultant still wasn’t any different – the men in blue won by a convincing 8-wicket margin. The good work done by Yuvraj and Dhoni in the centre right through the series received its ultimate acknowledgement when Sachin ran in, carrying drinks for his younger teammates.

There are two things about Sachin that opposition teams need to know. One, don’t ever write him off. Two, don’t call him chicken. The World Cup 2003 is a classic case in point. India had just come back from a disastrous tour of New Zealand played on designer pitches and Sachin, just back from an injury, had scored two runs from three matches, with an average of 0.66. Soon after, the World Cup began and the bowlers who challenged him in print before a match were left gnawing at the newspaper in sheer desperation as Sachin plundered runs at will. (Shoaib Akthar and Andy Caddick are wiser men these days.) Obviously, Moin Khan was oblivious to this fact when he, in a rash moment, questioned ‘Sachin’s present-day ability against quality fast bowling’. Sachin took the cue and after scores of 100, 42 and 95, sent Moin Khan scurrying to his book of phrases to find out what ‘beginning of the end’ actually meant.

Meanwhile, Rahul Dravid knew that a lot was at stake in this tour. The Chappell baiters, the pro-Ganguly faction and the India bashers were all waiting to see how he would fare with a bunch of youngsters. Having to ‘accommodate’ a recently deposed captain, leave two specialist openers out of the playing eleven and play five bowlers, Dravid decided to nix all three issues with one move – by opening the innings. The raw pace of Shoaib, inexperience as a test opener and a litmus test as a captain must have all played on his mind. But in the end, leading from the front paid off, with two test centuries and an average of just over 80. And in the one dayers, he was the cog around which the Indian winning machine operated. Three fifties in five matches and like a true veteran, he chose to remain in the background while his young guns basked in the limelight.

If one were to savour the joy of India’s comprehensive series win at 1000 frames per second – thanks to technology’s latest marvel, ultra motion - one would have to rewind to the fourth one dayer, when Salman Butt nicked Sreesanth and the ball descended in a low trajectory, onto the field. Frame after frame rolled on as the ball sought to bite the dust. And just when one thought that no-man’s land had been found, in came a pair of hands from the left of the screen. The rest of skipper Rahul Dravid followed as he dived to his left and scooped the ball before it hit the ground. And that defining moment captured the progress of India through the one day series – the point of no hope, a half-chance, a suspenseful nanosecond, a dramatic act of valour and finally the exhilarating win.

(Appeared in the New Indian Express Sunday Supplement as 'The winter's tale' on 26 February, 2006)