(Image courtesy: New Indian Express)2010. News channels have come of age. All 129 of them. L Suresh reports…
22 channels featuring sports news. 13 for fashion news. 53 for entertainment news. 40 for movie news. And the exclusive Page 3 Network (P3N). Ah, to think that two decades ago, ‘news’ was a 15-minute dinner break before a primetime serial. How primitive!
Today, newspapers offer news. News channels make news. Kareena and Shahid are waiting for the news channels to tell them which way their 87-day marriage should go. (So if you think they should head for splitsville, SMS NDTV KK 01 and if you’re old fashioned, well, SMS NDTV KK 02.) The success of Walk the Talk has expectedly spawned a legion of imitations - Jump the Gun, Run the Rerun, Crawl the Drawl (the last mentioned featuring interviews with NRI directors). The Current Affairs channel covers the latest electrifying, whirlwind romances. The Sports News channels in recent times have been full of Sachin Tendulkar's son playing an under-12 tournament for his school. Interviews with his neighbours, his school principal, his teachers and the school watchman have received high TRPs (Television rating Points). The Technology News channel is obviously a big hit as leaked e-mails and tapped phone calls are not only telecast, but can also be downloaded from the news channel’s website. (Local rates apply.) StarTalk is another popular news channel that features phone calls from intoxicated stars to their girlfriends. (Mild abuses can also be downloaded as ringtones.)
But the luckiest are those who watch the MMS News channel regularly, for they can take part in umpteen contests with prizes that range from a trip for two to Singapore to a Mercedes C Class. All they need to do is to identify if the person in the porn clip is really an actress or just a look-alike.
But the recent curb on live reporting from disaster areas is mounting pressure on news channels to come up with something new. Ever since there were widespread protests against news reporters asking earthquake survivors and accident victims how they feel, a legislation was passed in 2007 by which a victim can be asked the 'How do you feel' question just once and then given a 'How do you feel' badge that he/she needs to wear. This means only the news channel that approaches him first can pop the question. Any other news channel found approaching a badge-wearer will be exempted from all further BCCI press meets for the year. So no cricket controversies - hence no viewership, no TRPs, so no ads and soon, no channel. This not only saves the survivors from repeated harassment, but also ensures that the viewer does not feel that all the news channels are beaming the same footage into his living room.
News anchors being poached by other channels has reached its peak as one popular news anchor was found missing during a commercial break on Headlines Today. As the team in the studios went berserk trying to find her, viewers who tuned in to NDTV found her continuing the same news there. To avoid this, the news channels have a picture-in-picture on screen, so that the newsreader is forever in focus. Viewers may recall that a few years back, a news channel did a ‘Truman Show’ on a newsreader – basically, installed cameras all around. A few explicit scenes found their way to ‘The ‘X’ Factor’ and the incident rocked the country as most working men took to the streets, claiming that they were away at work when the clip was shown and demanding a rerun. The programme was subsequently renamed the XXX Factor and enjoys a midnight slot, not to mention high TRPs.
In fact, news channels have become so popular that ex-wannabe actresses have all jumped on to the news bandwagon. This has led to a new, but ugly trend in the news circle – the auditioning armchair – the television equivalent of the casting couch. (Since newsreaders don’t sit on couches and stuff like that.) While most channels have gone to town denying the existence of such primitive practices, NDTV has featured the topic in its Big Fight – The Casting Couch or the Auditioning Armchair? Needless to say, Mahesh Bhatt and Shakti Kapoor were at their best, the former because he had an audience and the latter, because he was simply relieved that he had nothing to do with news channels.
Meanwhile, live coverage of dressing room brawls in cricket has become a huge hit. Last month’s TRPs went through the roof when the nation watched spellbound the spat between Coach Lance Klusener and captain Mohammed Kaif, with live audio commentary by Sourav Ganguly from the studios. The Hindi channels too went berserk with the 'K2G (Klusener, Kaif aur Ganguly) saga - it's all about loving your sponsors'.
If all this has made you salivate for some news, don’t miss out on the live coverage of the fifth anniversary of Harbhajan's Beauty Salon. Ganguly and Chappell are both expected to play a major role in it. The words ‘patch up’ did crop up a few times, but apparently the reference was to hair-weaving, to cover the ample bald spots in their scalps.
However, Chennai is finally having the last laugh - who needs a set top box when one can get all the entertainment from free-to-air news channels for less than 100 bucks a month? And as for the regular channels, the popularity of news channels has caused them to reduce their telecast timings to 3½ hours a day - between 6.30 pm and 10 pm everyday. Apparently 35 years back, that was how much television people had each day, from a channel called Doordarshan. Talk about life coming a full circle!
Obviously all these don’t leave the news channels with much time for trivial matters. So you would do well to catch up on all the political, business and international news from the newspapers. And for the latest in the weather, just open your window and look out.
22 channels featuring sports news. 13 for fashion news. 53 for entertainment news. 40 for movie news. And the exclusive Page 3 Network (P3N). Ah, to think that two decades ago, ‘news’ was a 15-minute dinner break before a primetime serial. How primitive!
Today, newspapers offer news. News channels make news. Kareena and Shahid are waiting for the news channels to tell them which way their 87-day marriage should go. (So if you think they should head for splitsville, SMS NDTV KK 01 and if you’re old fashioned, well, SMS NDTV KK 02.) The success of Walk the Talk has expectedly spawned a legion of imitations - Jump the Gun, Run the Rerun, Crawl the Drawl (the last mentioned featuring interviews with NRI directors). The Current Affairs channel covers the latest electrifying, whirlwind romances. The Sports News channels in recent times have been full of Sachin Tendulkar's son playing an under-12 tournament for his school. Interviews with his neighbours, his school principal, his teachers and the school watchman have received high TRPs (Television rating Points). The Technology News channel is obviously a big hit as leaked e-mails and tapped phone calls are not only telecast, but can also be downloaded from the news channel’s website. (Local rates apply.) StarTalk is another popular news channel that features phone calls from intoxicated stars to their girlfriends. (Mild abuses can also be downloaded as ringtones.)
But the luckiest are those who watch the MMS News channel regularly, for they can take part in umpteen contests with prizes that range from a trip for two to Singapore to a Mercedes C Class. All they need to do is to identify if the person in the porn clip is really an actress or just a look-alike.
But the recent curb on live reporting from disaster areas is mounting pressure on news channels to come up with something new. Ever since there were widespread protests against news reporters asking earthquake survivors and accident victims how they feel, a legislation was passed in 2007 by which a victim can be asked the 'How do you feel' question just once and then given a 'How do you feel' badge that he/she needs to wear. This means only the news channel that approaches him first can pop the question. Any other news channel found approaching a badge-wearer will be exempted from all further BCCI press meets for the year. So no cricket controversies - hence no viewership, no TRPs, so no ads and soon, no channel. This not only saves the survivors from repeated harassment, but also ensures that the viewer does not feel that all the news channels are beaming the same footage into his living room.
News anchors being poached by other channels has reached its peak as one popular news anchor was found missing during a commercial break on Headlines Today. As the team in the studios went berserk trying to find her, viewers who tuned in to NDTV found her continuing the same news there. To avoid this, the news channels have a picture-in-picture on screen, so that the newsreader is forever in focus. Viewers may recall that a few years back, a news channel did a ‘Truman Show’ on a newsreader – basically, installed cameras all around. A few explicit scenes found their way to ‘The ‘X’ Factor’ and the incident rocked the country as most working men took to the streets, claiming that they were away at work when the clip was shown and demanding a rerun. The programme was subsequently renamed the XXX Factor and enjoys a midnight slot, not to mention high TRPs.
In fact, news channels have become so popular that ex-wannabe actresses have all jumped on to the news bandwagon. This has led to a new, but ugly trend in the news circle – the auditioning armchair – the television equivalent of the casting couch. (Since newsreaders don’t sit on couches and stuff like that.) While most channels have gone to town denying the existence of such primitive practices, NDTV has featured the topic in its Big Fight – The Casting Couch or the Auditioning Armchair? Needless to say, Mahesh Bhatt and Shakti Kapoor were at their best, the former because he had an audience and the latter, because he was simply relieved that he had nothing to do with news channels.
Meanwhile, live coverage of dressing room brawls in cricket has become a huge hit. Last month’s TRPs went through the roof when the nation watched spellbound the spat between Coach Lance Klusener and captain Mohammed Kaif, with live audio commentary by Sourav Ganguly from the studios. The Hindi channels too went berserk with the 'K2G (Klusener, Kaif aur Ganguly) saga - it's all about loving your sponsors'.
If all this has made you salivate for some news, don’t miss out on the live coverage of the fifth anniversary of Harbhajan's Beauty Salon. Ganguly and Chappell are both expected to play a major role in it. The words ‘patch up’ did crop up a few times, but apparently the reference was to hair-weaving, to cover the ample bald spots in their scalps.
However, Chennai is finally having the last laugh - who needs a set top box when one can get all the entertainment from free-to-air news channels for less than 100 bucks a month? And as for the regular channels, the popularity of news channels has caused them to reduce their telecast timings to 3½ hours a day - between 6.30 pm and 10 pm everyday. Apparently 35 years back, that was how much television people had each day, from a channel called Doordarshan. Talk about life coming a full circle!
Obviously all these don’t leave the news channels with much time for trivial matters. So you would do well to catch up on all the political, business and international news from the newspapers. And for the latest in the weather, just open your window and look out.
(Appeared in the New Indian Express Sunday Supplement on 30 October, 2005)
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