(Image courtesy: New Indian Express)L Suresh leaks out an e-mail that he accidentally receives, to complete an epic trilogy.
They say that in cricket, anyone who sends a mail is jinxed. (In the words of Confucius, ‘Man who sends e-mail has his career trashed’.) And since the most entertaining things in life come as a trilogy, here’s a look at three e-mails that have shaken the country.
The Fellowship of the Erring
Sourav’s gaffes on the field, Chappell’s blunder of putting his thoughts down in a mail instead of simply beginning a whispering campaign, the media’s mistake of flogging this to death though there were more important things to report – it all started as a series of errors. While the first e-mail began a war of words between two factions, it ended the career of the Dalmiya’s ward. Who leaked it and to what purpose would be explained in the last of the trilogy.
The Two Towels
This was the second mail in the trilogy. As the CAB elections hotted up, it was more than hats that were thrown into the ring. There were two rather wet towels that were also thrown in, by the master and his protégé. While Sourav gave up on his mentor, saying that it was he who had ruined his career, the latter gave up on the IT infrastructure of Kolkata, claiming that the city was full of leaking e-mails.
The Return of the King
Here’s the third and final mail that was sent to Chappell by Dalmiya and is yet to receive its rightful place under the sun.
Dear Mr. Chappell,
By the time you receive this mail, chances are, it must have leaked out. But what I want to bring your attention to is this - if your mail to me about Sourav was leaked out by your critics and if Sourav’s mail about me was leaked out by my detractors, who is leaking out my mail to you about Sourav?
My city of origin demands that I display my literary leanings and compare the three of us to Jerome K Jerome’s ‘Three men on a boat’. But since there are too many leaks in our story, I have a sinking feeling that it might not work out. So I shall safely fall back upon film noir and compare the current scenario with that of the climax from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, where everyone’s guns are trained on everyone else. And having been the Patron Saint until recently, I automatically qualify for ‘The Good’. But with the way things are going, it looks like I will soon be the man with no name, what with everyone ganging up against me.
But Mr. Chappell, I want you to follow Sourav’s county stint closely so that you will see for yourselves as to who the brains behind this whole thing is. When was the team to the tri-series in Sri Lanka announced? On July 20th. And how much did Sourav make in his first match in the county? 2 and 0 – that’s 20. On hearing that Dinesh Mongia was selected, who missed the ball from Shahid Nazir completely and got KOed on his chin? Sourav of course! And after copping it on his chin, who had the cheek to dash off an irresponsible mail about me? I don’t have to answer that, do I?
So you see Mr. Chappell, the kingdom rightfully belongs to the king and you shall see his return. As a famous man once said, “I’ll be back!”
True to his word, Dalmiya got into the driver’s seat of CAB and got ready for a new series – the roadrunner show.
They say that in cricket, anyone who sends a mail is jinxed. (In the words of Confucius, ‘Man who sends e-mail has his career trashed’.) And since the most entertaining things in life come as a trilogy, here’s a look at three e-mails that have shaken the country.
The Fellowship of the Erring
Sourav’s gaffes on the field, Chappell’s blunder of putting his thoughts down in a mail instead of simply beginning a whispering campaign, the media’s mistake of flogging this to death though there were more important things to report – it all started as a series of errors. While the first e-mail began a war of words between two factions, it ended the career of the Dalmiya’s ward. Who leaked it and to what purpose would be explained in the last of the trilogy.
The Two Towels
This was the second mail in the trilogy. As the CAB elections hotted up, it was more than hats that were thrown into the ring. There were two rather wet towels that were also thrown in, by the master and his protégé. While Sourav gave up on his mentor, saying that it was he who had ruined his career, the latter gave up on the IT infrastructure of Kolkata, claiming that the city was full of leaking e-mails.
The Return of the King
Here’s the third and final mail that was sent to Chappell by Dalmiya and is yet to receive its rightful place under the sun.
Dear Mr. Chappell,
By the time you receive this mail, chances are, it must have leaked out. But what I want to bring your attention to is this - if your mail to me about Sourav was leaked out by your critics and if Sourav’s mail about me was leaked out by my detractors, who is leaking out my mail to you about Sourav?
My city of origin demands that I display my literary leanings and compare the three of us to Jerome K Jerome’s ‘Three men on a boat’. But since there are too many leaks in our story, I have a sinking feeling that it might not work out. So I shall safely fall back upon film noir and compare the current scenario with that of the climax from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, where everyone’s guns are trained on everyone else. And having been the Patron Saint until recently, I automatically qualify for ‘The Good’. But with the way things are going, it looks like I will soon be the man with no name, what with everyone ganging up against me.
But Mr. Chappell, I want you to follow Sourav’s county stint closely so that you will see for yourselves as to who the brains behind this whole thing is. When was the team to the tri-series in Sri Lanka announced? On July 20th. And how much did Sourav make in his first match in the county? 2 and 0 – that’s 20. On hearing that Dinesh Mongia was selected, who missed the ball from Shahid Nazir completely and got KOed on his chin? Sourav of course! And after copping it on his chin, who had the cheek to dash off an irresponsible mail about me? I don’t have to answer that, do I?
So you see Mr. Chappell, the kingdom rightfully belongs to the king and you shall see his return. As a famous man once said, “I’ll be back!”
True to his word, Dalmiya got into the driver’s seat of CAB and got ready for a new series – the roadrunner show.
(Appeared in the New Indian Express Sunday Supplement on 06 August, 2006)
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